I love you, but...

So today my mother called "to chat". We all know what that means.

I received the same old tired lecture about how I need to work more and drink less and study harder and focus better and basically be this amazing, successful, perfect person who is opposite of who I am.

...

Well, I've decided not to change a thing about myself. Why? Because I am happy (enough) the way I am and I know I'm headed in the right direction.

What I do with my money is my decision and I will handle it in a way that will not stress me out before I need it. If I want to buy a car instead of paying off my student loans early, let me do it. This car will lessen my stress now because, as most people can tell, I am beginning to crumble under the weight of it. I will pay it off in increments later when it won't kill me to work and make ends meet as a college student just because I don't want to worry about it later when I won't have classes and a part time job to worry about.

Yes, I only have one part time job because I am a full time student. I understand that some people can handle it and I might be one of them, which i proved by having three jobs this summer. However, that does not mean that I plan on living the rest of my life in a similar manner. I worked three jobs all summer because I had nothing else to do with my time but be nagged by my stay-at-home mother. Work was my escape and I took it gladly with arms wide, wide open. Now that I am living away from home and attending school every day, I would like an afternoon or two of downtime. I realize it could be put toward making money to pay off student loans, but it could also be put toward studying or letting myself breathe for a moment.

I have a house off campus because the university did not give me housing. I did everything correctly and on the right days. There is no reason why I was penalized with no housing for the year because I did everything the way I was supposed to. If the school screwed up, it is not my fault. You can trust me when I say I made a fairly large scene in the housing office when this news came to my attention. The phone lines were buzzing and I was fighting. On top of all this, it happened five months ago. We have been over this time and time again. Let it go already.

Yes, I drink. I am a college student. While that is not an excuse, I am not irresponsible about it. I never drive if I have been drinking. I take care of my friends who have been excessively drinking. In regards to pictures on Facebook, the only people with alcohol in their hands are people who are of age. I never have a drink in my hand in pictures, even tagged ones. I edit everything carefully for the simple reason that I know my future employers could be looking at my Facebook, even if it is set to the most private setting possible. Regardless, even if I hadn't thought of any of this, at least take it as a good sign that I am willing to be open with you about this. I have nothing to hide from you. Trust me in at least knowing that I am smart enough to not be stupid.

Don't insult me by hinting that my grades are slipping because I "drink too much, too often." You don't even bother to ask how my grades are, even if the semester is over, and yet you use it as an excuse against me. As a matter of fact, I am excelling far above everyone in my main major and I am holding my own fairly well in my second major. My classes are doing just fine and it is for that very reason that I do allow myself to have some fun once in a while. Forgive me for celebrating a bit more in the beginning while I still can, but I have some making up to do after the prison I just endured with you all summer. No offense, of course.

If I am at my boyfriend's house, it is none of your business as long as my grades stay up and my focus remains strong. You never bothered to ask before and now that you realize things are serious with me, you start getting worried in all the wrong areas. Worry about how I'm going to pay rent or get to and from class, not what where I am when I have some free time, especially if it is someone who is willing to help me do the aforementioned things.

Lastly, I am almost 20 years old. I understand I am your eldest and you are still having some problems letting go, but just remember, the longer you hold on, the more I will want to go and the worse terms we will be on when the grasp is released. Make it easy on all of us. Just let go. I won't run. I will still be within arms reach for a while. I'm still learning this "live on my own" thing. But don't treat me like an immature child who doesn't consider anything when it comes to finances, education, future, etc. Let me learn my own lessons. Trust me and let me do this.

I love you, but sometimes I hate talking to you.