Super Secret Blog: a place for me to "super secretly" vent to the world about my life, education, men, etc., all while not revealing my true identity. The internet is a good place to get some feedback and/or support. Seems like a good idea right? We'll see...

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

1:40 a.m.

I have decided today that I am a crazy, obsessive, psychopathic girlfriend. It's only a matter of time until he realizes it and doesn something about it. I can't stand being this way, but maybe I'm better off if I juts admit it. I'm better off having how I really feel be up front, rather than hide it until a lot farther down the road and create more pain for myself. I hate being jealous, or not even jealous, but disliking people- especially when they have done absolutely nothing to me. It just hurts so bad. I can't understand it. I've tried tirelessly to get over it, but it only seems to get worse with time. I assume that means I feel something real for him, but it could be ruining things for me later on down the road. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I won't do that for reasons that stand on principle, but I've never wanted to break down so bad. How do I tell him that? I can't do any more than I've already done. It's just frustrating...

I can't handle myself. I don't know how I can expect him to.

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