What is happening with me? I find myself feeling sad if I don't see him. I don't want to be that needy girl who has to be with him all the time, but I just want to be with him all the time. I've never felt like this before.
Already we are encroaching on the record for my longest relationship and I have yet to feel anything that would make me even think about not being with him. I find myself thinking about the future a lot, which I try not to do because I don't like preparing for things that might not happen. The less you hype yourself up for, the smaller the chance of getting yourself hurt. Aside from that, it's just strange to think about that kind of thing after only three months of dating. Yet, thoughts keep popping up in my head and I can't stop them. Granted, he gives little hints that lead me to believe he is thinking these things too, but I convince myself that I am overanalyzing and he isn't implying anything. I do this to put myself down but the truth is, maybe he does feel that way. I can see big things happening between us, but thinking about the future scares me. Just like it scares me that I feel a constant need to be with him.
More than once have I made excuses so I could be with him and I have no doubts that I will do it again, but why do I do it? I have no reason not to be with other friends and I know he doesn't have a problem with me hanging out with them, yet I continue to make excuses so I can be with him instead. I feel so much happier with him. Even when we fight, I am just happy that we are talking. I can't be mad at him. I get frustrated and angry with the situation, but never with him. When we fight i just want things to be okay between us again. I can't stand having him upset with me and I would do anything to make it better between us.
I can't understand, or even try to understand, what I feel when it comes to him. I always miss him. I love when he says he misses me, when he gently touches me, the way he holds me so tight, the way he says he loves me. I can admit it now. I love him. It still scares me, but I am comfortable admitting it now. I love him so much.
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